INGULFED

In Shanghai

Archive for puns

What Really Happened Behind the Scenes of Bibi’s Speech

An American Jew* and a Jewish American**, deconstruct the motivations, repercussions and realities of Netanyahu’s speech to Congress (March 4, 2015) live and direct (to only each other) just as it happened. This isn’t exactly Live coverage from House of Reps’ locker rooms, not is it even live… but all this blather should be put to death anyway:

Bibi congress transcript: March 4, 2015.

Israeli Intelligence.

*Jerusalem local, papa.
**Transient traveler-type, célibataire.

دمّ و عرق و دموع و بيتسا — Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Pizza

I had lost sweat and (metaphorical) tears to settle in Abu Dhabi. Today, I gave the blood.

Every visa-carrying visitor/resident of the UAE must get a relatively unintrusive medical check-up in order to stay in the country. A positive AIDS or TB test will send you back where you came from.

Trying not to concentrate on the needle, I stared at my Arabic entry permit and tried to think of puns using the word “Sheikh”. Sheikh down. Sheikhspeare.

Afterwards, I was called into an x-ray room to have my chest examined. She asked me to fold my collar upwards, she said to get it out of the way. I still think they take pictures at the same time — every American with a popped collar — as a bargaining chip in case of strained relations. “We have pictures of all of your citizens looking like guidos. Now let’s negotiate.”

On the digital screen above the machine I saw my name, and beneath it “W CHEST PA”. I’m sure that means something to a doctor, but to me it was eerie. My small hometown in Pennsylvania neighbored the town West Chester — W. Chest., PA. How much can they tell from my ribs? Read the rest of this entry »

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